As we’ve shown before (in 2015, 2016, 2017, and 2018) both the Wisconsin State Fair and Summerfest are a lot of things, but “restrained” is not one of them. The State Fair does things big and brash, and in honor of all its glutton-glory I present my list of 2018’s Wisconsin State Fair Superlatives.
Most Giant Slide
These things almost write themselves.
It’s a State Fair icon, almost as much as the Cream Puff. If you ain’t getting butt burn from the burlap sack, you’re doing it wrong.
World’s Largest Piggy Bank
Don’t tell the Pork Shoppe about this guy.
Move over Fort Knox, here comes Pork Chops.
Best Priced Beer
Put that $1 saved right into your World’s Largest Piggy Bank
These folks know their Wisconsinite audience: cheap and drunk.
Mustardiest Corn Dog
Gotta get’m from Crutchees.
The more mustard the better, says this writer. And yes, I did spill on my shirt.
Most Badass Wagon
Bigger shocks than on my Honda Fit.
Is this child going through a one-twelfth-life crisis?
Most Basic Bitch: White Claw Girl Wearing Zebra Shirt
Why make water and booze so gross?
We also would’ve accepted “Whitest-Girl Drink” or “Least Appetizing Beverage”.
Punniest Name
Cravin D. Cream Puff, you smooth bastard.
He looks like Mayor McCheese’s son.
Worst New Food
Slash beverage.
Whoever at the Bucks Milk House thought swapping out Orange Dreamsicle for Toothpaste Mint was a good idea probably also chose the new arena’s name.
Happiest Men at the Wisconsin State Fair
Better than anything Minnesota or Missouri has to offer.
If a Cream Puff doesn’t make you happy then you have no soul.
Thank you Wisconsin State Fair for another successful summer. I never tire of the fantastical superlatives this great state has to offer.