Greetings and Salutations,
All you need to know about life is retained within the walls of the Stallis Palace. Notice that your personalities are seduced by the visions of grandeur: the neon bar top, the regal insignia, an attractive implication towards glamour and good times, a noble suggestion that the Stallis Palace is indeed your royal and loyal dive bar. Join us this week as we travel back to Stallis to hit up a local favorite that carries its name very loyally. You see, the Stallis Palace wants to be your bar, your home away from home… your palace, basically. With great drink specials, a very special atmosphere, and one amazing staff, I am confident that Welcome to Thursdays is in for a special night full of good times and great people.
Back in 2016, there was a massive buzz amongst the archaeologists of the world when they stumbled upon and discovered a true relic of the dark ages: the royal palace of Tintagel in Cornwall. What made this find most exciting was that this palace was associated with the legend of King Arthur. This is indeed a fine find, but what perplexes me is that no one ever talks about the most important palace in King Arthur’s history. You see what most people – well actually, everyone, doesn’t know is that King Arthur actually frequented West Allis back in the day. Yes, my friends, I am here to tell you that the tales of King Arthur that you grew up hearing are false, to a point.
Photo Credit: (commons.wikimedia.org)
You see, the inscription on the famous sword in the stone stated: “Whoso pulleth out this sword of this stone and anvil is rightwise king born of all England.” But they don’t tell you about the inscription on the other side of the sword, “To the man or woman seeking royalty, there is but only one key, and that is to fill yourself with Old Milwaukee.” Yes, that is right. The reason King Arthur was able to pull that sword was all thanks to Old Milwaukee.
And where does an Englishman get Old Milwaukee in the dark ages? He need only look to the Stallis Palace. Yes it was an insurmountable journey, and yes it would have taken years to go to West Allis and back to the sword, but that’s where Merlin comes in. Merlin was able to conduct magical transactions with the Stallis Palace without moving at all. The first time King Arthur ever had a meeting at his famous round table he greeted all of his truest and most honest friends with a twelve pack.
Gotta love that Old Milwaukee history. Cheers my friends!
Your co-founder and friend,
Jeremy Jay Blandin
*Keeping your glass filled and spirits high one Thursday at a time, this is Welcome to Thursdays: a local social group determined to make your Thursdays more fun. Each week, The Squeaky Curd features a (generally) fictitious story of a Milwaukee County bar that we gather at on Thursday evening. Join us TONIGHT – Thursday, March 8, 2018 at Stallis Palace, 8812 W Greenfield Ave, (West Allis), at 7:30pm.*