Greetings and Salutations my favorite Thursday Night companions,
Travel out this Thursday as we venture to the ever-mysterious Bad Genie. This establishment is a bi-level box of fun, music, and scorpions. Yes, you heard me right, I said scorpions – but we will get to that in a bit. Bad Genie is home to some great cocktails, exceptional service and on the right night, some pretty legit live music. I myself have never actually been, but I constantly hear great things from fellow Thursdians. Now, to the elephant er…scorpion in the room: Bad Genie apparently offers an exclusive concoction in which you consume an entire scorpion within your drink. We suggest you stick the Scorpion in some Old Mil’ because, let’s be honest; Old Milwaukee makes everything taste better. Speaking of Old Mil, the story of Bad Genie is one of love and lies and it all started with the discovery of a magical lantern.
Thursdays very own Ian Brunner (WTT Member # 14) is quite the individual; he lives life to the fullest, but knows that he can always turn to Old Milwaukee when times are tough. There is no better example than the time Ian found a magical lamp and wasted two wishes only to lose his third to a genie so evil he got a bar named after him…
It all started when Ian entered Milwaukee’s CFCT (Classy Formal Chess Tournament). This was a tournament in which all contestants had to dress in their finest and play for a chance to enter the elusive vault of mysteries located deep inside the Milwaukee County Historical Society. Obviously, Ian dominated the tourney and won his trip into the vault. He could only take one item out, so he decided on an old looking lamp. If you ask Ian today, he still has no explanation as to why he chose the lamp; it simply called to him.
So overcome with joy by his victory and chess domination, he decided to partake in some cocktails. One thing led to another and before you know it, Ian was in a good place psychologically. He stumbled up from his table to use the restroom when he accidentally tripped and fell onto his newly acquired lamp, rubbing it in the process. Suddenly, a burst of sparks shot from the lamp and the silhouette of a genie (who looked vaguely familiar) overtook his field of vision. The genie told Ian that he had set him free and because of this, Ian would be granted three wishes. Ian, not in the greatest mental state, started to shout whatever came to his mind: “For my first wish, I want a really strong cocktail that has a good bite!” The genie smiled and snapped his fingers. Suddenly a large glass appeared in front of Ian full of booze and a scorpion. This of course, was how the legendary scorpion shots came to be.
“For my next wish, I want a pet, but no ordinary pet – one that is smart, and unique!” Again, the genie snapped his fingers and suddenly a loud noise came from outside. Ian ran out only to see a massive pink elephant wearing glasses. So caught off guard by this, Ian passed out, and the genie sat back and laughed the night away as he knew he only had to perform one more wish to be free.
The two wasted wishes, Ian still cares for his pet elephant “Wilbur” to this day. It runs free in the wild forests of Shawano WI.
When Ian awoke, he felt awful; but with the help of a Panera Bacon Turkey Bravo sandwich, he remembered that he had one wish left. He knew he wasn’t going to waste this one, so he stood up and asked for a can of Old Milwaukee that never got empty and never got warm. The Genie thought nothing of this wish and snapped his fingers: a golden can of Old Mil appeared. Before he was to be freed, the genie asked if he could try some and Ian obliged. The genie took one sip and fell into a state of pure euphoria. He looked at Ian, and then looked back at the can and said, “Freedom would never feel free knowing you possess this can of power. I choose to go back with the can!” Then, right before Ian’s eyes the genie fled back into the lamp with the Old Mil never to be seen again. The rest is history.
Cheers my friends!
Your co-founder and friend,
Jeremy Jay. Blandin
*Keeping your glass filled and spirits high one Thursday at a time, this is Welcome to Thursdays: a local social group determined to make your Thursdays more fun. Each Wednesday, The Squeaky Curd features a fictitious history of a Milwaukee County bar that we gather at on Thursday evening. Join us this Thursday, July 6, 2017 at Bad Genie located at 789 N. Jefferson St (Cathedral Square) at 7:30pm.*