*Updated to include 3 new costumes for 2018. For more ideas, check out our 3 picks for 2015, for 2016, and for 2017.*
Today Milwaukee celebrates All Hollows Eve – one of my favorite holidays. Halloween is the epitome of an American holiday: a night where you’re encouraged to spend money and time pretending to be someone you’re not while gorging on sugar. There is no better example of this than the “sexy” costume. It seems like everyone takes this drunken night as an opportunity to let their hair down. If there can be a Sexy Female Darth Vader costume then anything can be sexy.
In our opinion, there’s nothing sexier than Milwaukee. Here’s how to dress like a true Milwaukeean while still picking up that Hanging Chad by the punch bowl.
Sexy Barrelman
Yeah, our beloved Brewers may have fallen just short of the Fall Classic this year, but as Rob Petrie’s Sunday Cycle notes, this was a success of a season nonetheless. Show your love for the MLB’s smallest market team by dressing up as their sexiest, 3rd-tier mascot: Barrelman.
Required Costume Pieces
- Brewers hat
- Baseball bat
- An empty barrel
- Suspenders
Images from Brooklyn Brewery, Lids, and Zombiepedia.
Make extra space in that barrel for your own special Front Row Amy to join you.
Sexy Streetcar Victim
Too soon? Too topical? Too sexy? No matter, this is a simple one. Get your last tongue-in-cheek knocks in at The Hop‘s expense before its first public run this Friday.
Required Costume Pieces
- Razor scooter
- Shirt with black tracks on front and back
- Neck brace or arm sling
Bonus points if you can make the lines on your shirt out of a string of beer hops or bunny tracks, as an homage to The Hop‘s name.
Sexy Political Attack Ads
At this point I’m sure we’re all still super-undecided on whom we’re going to vote for in the upcoming November 6th midterm election. So it’s such a great thing that Walker, Evers, Baldwin, Vukmir, Bryce, and Stiles are all plastering our TVs and mailboxes with attack ads that will surely sway our decisions towards their side. Show your distaste for the political incivility, made popular by our dear President, by going as a full-on attack ad.
Required Costume Pieces
- Shirt with various political trigger words written on it
- Numerous political mailers in your pocket
Images from Dick’s, Benesse Corp, and various political attack ads.
When someone asks who you are, throw the balled up political mailers at them and say you’re a political attack ad. Nothing’s sexier than political activism.
While it’ll be hard to showcase-showdown with our group Price Is Right costume last year, I’m sure you’ll be a worthy competitor with one of the costumes above.
This and featured photo by Joe Powell for The Squeaky Curd.